Tuesday, May 17, 2016


Mother is not a title. 
Mother is a verb. 
It is not who you are. 
It's what you do. 
- Shonda Rhimes

Forever grateful for my four awesome children. So blessed that I was chosen to be their mother. Despite my many mistakes, crazy lady moments and inconsistencies, they love me anyway and I am truly thankful to be sharing life with them. 

Friday, May 06, 2016

Pondering daily........

'Tell me, what is it 
you plan to do 
with your one wild 
precious life?' 
              ~ Mary Oliver. 

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

capturing the beautiful everyday

It is wet and cold. A perfect day for going outside with my camera and 
capturing the beauty that is all around. 

Hope you saw the beauty in your day. 

                                                                                    Jo xx

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

welcome the unexpected visitors

The Guest House. 

This being human is a guest 
house. Every morning 
a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, 
some momentary awareness comes 
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and attend them all: 
Even if they're a crown of sorrows, 
who violently sweep your house 
empty of its furniture, still, 
treat each guest honourably. 
He may be clearing you out 
for some new delight. 

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. 

Be grateful for whatever comes
because each has been sent 
as a guide from beyond. 

                                                      ~ Rumi


I love this poem. It speaks to me of compassion, gentleness and grace. It encourages me to pay attention to all the feelings and emotions that come my way. Often unpleasant, difficult and challenging feelings and emotions that are pushed away or buried deep within. These words invite me to welcome them all. Pay attention to them and seek out what they are trying to say to me, teach me or where they want to lead me. I am invited to push past the condemnation and judgement and embrace what comes. I am invited to listen and show compassion to those visitors that want to share. I am invited to welcome them, offer them hospitality and then wait for what follows. 
It might be just what my soul was yearning for. 

                                                                      Jo xx

Monday, June 15, 2015

moving forward slowly.

One year ago today I received the call that would change my world and impact my story forever.  My mother had suffered a serious brain aneurysm and she had been taken to hospital in a critical condition. The neurosurgeons had done all they could to stop the bleed and keep her alive however, they were not feeling hopeful as the bleed had been very extensive. 

What an evening that was. And the week to follow. 

Eight very long days of sitting by her bedside, talking to her, rubbing her hand, kissing her forehead, sharing our stories and telling her we loved her. 
And making decisions. 
Hard decisions that no one ever wants to make. Decisions I never thought about having to make. 
At least not yet. 
She was only 67yrs old. 
She was living life well and ready to enjoy retirement with her husband. They had plans and they looked forward with anticipation to their years of growing old together. 

Mum passed away peacefully, surrounded by those she loved the most, on the 23rd June, 2014. 
We celebrated her life 5 days later. 

Life has not been the same since. 
Many people have told me it will never be the same again. And they are right. It won't be. It hasn't been. 
And that is how it is. 

I have been reluctant to share here over the past 12 months. I don't really know what to say. I am still in a state of denial. I still can't believe she is really gone. I  didn't want this blog to become a blog about grief. But I didn't want to ignore my grief either. So it just seemed easier to ignore the blog. 

For a long time, even before I lost my mum, I was unsure about the purpose of my blog. I was going around and around in circles, sharing bits of this and that and never really feeling like I was holding traction. I was probably too influenced by other bloggers and not confident in what I wanted to share and say. Who was I? And what was I wanting to offer the world?

The past 12 months have been long, sad and at times extremely lonely. 
I wish more than anything that I didn't lose my mum and experience what I have had to experience these past 12 months. 
However, I am grateful that these experiences have been used for good and taken me to deeper places 
than I ever thought possible.  
Places that are helping me to answer the questions of who I am and 
what I have to offer the world. 

Twelve months ago we had just purchased a new home that would allow me to begin offering workshops and retreats as a part of my emerging creative business. 
I was excited and enthusiastic to begin however in reality nothing was ready. The studio wasn't ready, the house wasn't ready and more importantly I wasn't ready.

As I sit here today, 12 months later, my heart is still raw and fragile, my soul is weak and tired and I am still not ready. 
And that is okay. 
It's okay because I have realised that I'll never be fully ready but I can move forward because 
I know myself more than I did 12 months ago, I am more sure about what it is I can offer the world and I know that I am ready to blog about it. 

I consider grief a formidable force. It can knock you about in ways you cannot predict and imagine. But I also consider it a gentle breeze. Moving you ever so slightly towards growth, healing and awareness.
I am grateful for both. 

                                                 Jo xx

Thursday, August 28, 2014


Life has a funny way of moving right along whether we want it to or not. We can ask it to slow down, pause or stop as often as we like but it just keeps on going. Moving at, what I believe to be, an alarming rate. Do you feel that too? I have asked a number of people this question in recent days and no matter their age, life season, circumstances, etc the answer seems to be almost the same. Life is moving fast and most of us wish it would just slow down.

Since the loss of my mum 9 weeks ago I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions and feelings. And whilst being on this ride I have noticed that life does not even slow down for grief. Well at least it hasn't for me.  Life has just kept flying along at warp speed with my grief, thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc coming along for the ride.  
And let me tell you, it has been exhausting. 

I also feel lost, alone and broken. Scared, confused and bewildered. A new road to travel with no map, no directions and no one to ask am I heading the right way. All this whilst life is trying to race ahead.  Well I don't want to race ahead. I want to stop. I want a break. I want to go back.

For me right now I can only survive each day by taking some time to pause. I need to pause. I need it as much as I need air to breathe. I need time to stop for a few moments so I can catch my breath and reflect. I need to pause, take a deep breath and be here where I am right now. In this moment. Allowing the questions to come. Allowing the pain to consume me and let it be. Sit with it all. Allow grief to sit with me and touch me.

I struggled to just sit. I couldn't just sit. So I decided to knit. Nothing fancy or elaborate or quick. Nothing that creates pressure to be finished for someone or something. I am knitting to help me to slow down, pause, sit, take some deep breathes and be in the moment. I am knitting so I can sit and ask myself, what is going on for me right at this minute? I am knitting so I can linger in my thoughts, sit with my grief, treasure the moments of joy in my day and embrace the love that surrounds me. Does that sound delightful and peaceful and good? It is. The repetitiveness of knitting is soothing and meditative. How perfect for me right now. 

Do you feel life racing along? Are you allowing space to reflect, sit and breath? 
What are you doing to bring a little pause to your roller coaster ride right now?  Please share in the comments below. 

                                                                                                                                   Jo xx

Friday, August 08, 2014

Thought for the day.

                                                                                                             Jo xx